Well Loved

These are Ellie's most prized possessions, Blanket and Bear. When she was little they were called, "danketbear". All one word. It's hard to describe just what these "things" mean to her. They are her ultimate comfort items- she seems to physically need them at times. I was looking at them today and thinking about how they came into being.

Logan was the ultimate Momma's boy. I was his comfort item. No paci or blanket, just Mommy. This as you, can imagine was exhausting. While it's nice to know that you can soothe your baby like no one else, it's also incredibly overwhelming to know that if you're not there, nothing else will do. So, I made it a point when I had Ellie to try and give her comfort items beside myself.

When she was just a few months old I bought her the blanket. It's an Amy Coe from Target. Nothing extravagant, but just a nice, soft, crochet-style blanket. Erica had one for Grace and I loved it. So, when I saw this one at a resale shop still in the package, I bought it. And when Ellie was old enough to start sleeping with a blanket, this is what she got. She took to it right away.

After a couple of years, the edges of the blanket began to fray and unravel. This simply would not do, so I bought some pink satin and sewed a border around the edge to stop the undoing of this most important item. Instead of her undying devotion for saving her blanket, what do I get? A fit thrown for "ruining it". It's probably been 3 years since I did it and she still tears up at times about the destruction of her blanket. I try to remind her that without this "disfigurement" the blanket would be a pile of yarn by now, but she still misses the soft fuzzy edges.

And the smell, let's not forget that. It may be the most important thing of all. It doesn't smell bad (at least not all the time), but it has a certain scent. Even after I wash it, she and I can still smell her scent. She'll pick it up when she needs comfort and practically inhale it. It has a few holes in it as well, but it's holding up pretty well (I'm simutaneouly crossing my fingers and knocking on wood).

Bear on the other hand was a different story. Stuart's mom bought it for her for her first Valentine's Day. I can't really remember how long after that that the two became inseparable, certainly by the time she was 2. Bear is just a simple toy bought from Wal-Mart or Target. Nothing fancy, maybe not the type of toy you'd buy to become a lifetime keepsake. The wear and tear this poor bear has taken, doesn't really show in the pictures. When he was new, he was soft and creamy white with a soft pink shirt that says, "I Heart you". He had shiny black eyes, a soft brown nose and a nice sewn-on smile.

I used to look at him and feel pity for what he has become. He is ragged, worn, and dingy. With scratched up eyes and not much of a smile left at all. But really he's the luckiest toy of all. He is the most loved. Maybe it's from watching Toy Story, but looking at all the toys in our toy boxes that just lie there most of the time is kind of sad. Yes, they are still new looking and not tattered and torn, but isn't that a toy's true goal in life- to be loved.

Somehow this little bear has survived almost 5 years of being loved, very well. I'm still waiting for the stitching to tear open and a catastrophe to ensue, but so far so good. We should all be so lucky as to be loved like that!

I know there will come a day (who really knows when) that she will not need these things like she does now. And I am actually not looking forward to it at all. It's still one of the parts of her that keeps her little to me. Lord knows she's growing up faster than I can keep up with, but to see her with her blanket and bear sitting on the couch watching TV or clutching them while she's sleeping is a comfort for me as well. She's still my little girl. I'm not ready for her to be so "big" yet.

I know blanket and bear will be with us always in one form or another. They will always be in Ellie's heart and in mine too!